Monday morning commute rage

W8taminute · March 19, 2012, 01:59:27 PM

So I'm driving to work this morning on what is turning out to be a gorgeous day weather wise. Although it's Monday, I'm feeling rather chipper. That is until this impatient clod starts to tailgate me so close I could see that he didn't shave this morning.

I'm driving the speed limit on a 40MPH road and there are 4 or 5 other cars in front of me doing the same. Meanwhile bozo is literally inches away from my rear bumper and I'm starting to get a bit aggravated. Riding me like that is not going to make the guys in front of me drive faster.

So up ahead comes my right hand turn and I'm thinking to myself at least I'll get rid of Mr. Impatient here behind me. As I turn I notice he's following me and actually attempting to pass me in the turn! Needless to say I flip out and swerve back and forth before jamming on the brakes. I unbuckle, the car is still traveling, and I'm making ready to jump out and let him kill himself by rear ending my car. That's how mad I got. Almost like my personal crusade to teach this maggot a lesson that you don't ride people like that.

WTF is wrong with people? There was never this unfathomable impatience in drivers 15 years ago. It used to be that one could drive down the street without worrying about either someone cutting you off abruptly trying to merge or someone riding you so close from behind and then trying to pass you in a no passing zone on a one lane road.

I'm not having a good day today.

Bison · March 19, 2012, 02:09:59 PM

Most likely it's because your getting old and turning slowly into a curmudgeon. Next thing you know you'll be stopping by Home Depot just to browse the Keep Off the Grass signs. It's one of the male menopause stages. Next comes the "I remember when..." conversation lead in phrase. Followed by a keen interest in the weather. It'll be ok man.

Centurion40 · March 19, 2012, 02:12:51 PM

Welcome to the club!

LongBlade · March 19, 2012, 02:47:52 PM

I remember when I used to think I was old because I stopped by Home Depot to look at the Keep off the Grass signs...

Gusington · March 19, 2012, 02:52:41 PM

I've given this advice before and it is is Breezy Approved[tm]...take that for what it's worth: when being tailgated, slow down. Not only is it safer, it will drive the tailgater fucking crazy.

Believe it or not when I drove an ambulance I got tailgated. An ambulance is not as fast as everyone would like them to be. I would slow down and since the ambulance was quite wide, it would drive the tailgaters nuts.

To make you feel better, I was almost killed last week by a douchebag who crossed the double yellow line because he wasn't getting where he was going fast enough. He almost hit me head on. All I could was flash the finger.

And stay away from white trash. They are the absolute worst. You know what I mean. In simpler terms: drive defensively, always. Do not try to teach a lesson, just try to avoid these asses. There are so many of them, your mettle will be tested.

LongBlade · March 19, 2012, 02:56:30 PM

Gus sounds like he's channeling me.

Defensive driving is the key. I tell my kids this all the time. Driving is not a race to get there the fastest - it's getter there alive that matters. Everything else is secondary.

Bison · March 19, 2012, 03:03:16 PM

Quote from: LongBlade on March 19, 2012, 02:47:52 PM
I remember when I used to think I was old because I stopped by Home Depot to look at the Keep off the Grass signs...

There is a lot of thought that needs to go into not only purchasing the Keep Off the Grass sign, but also how you display it to achieve the greatest results.

It seems to have been a much simpler time back in the days when you could just put a head or two on a stake outside your castle to keep the rift raft at bay.

LongBlade · March 19, 2012, 03:06:14 PM

Quote from: Bison on March 19, 2012, 03:03:16 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on March 19, 2012, 02:47:52 PM
I remember when I used to think I was old because I stopped by Home Depot to look at the Keep off the Grass signs...

There is a lot of thought that needs to go into not only purchasing the Keep Off the Grass sign, but also how you display it to achieve the greatest results.

It seems to have been a much simpler time back in the days when you could just put a head or two on a stake outside your castle to keep the rift raft at bay.

I like to alternate between bear traps artistically sprinkled around the sign and trading it all out for a warning in a language no one will understand.

W8taminute · March 19, 2012, 03:14:00 PM

I'm suffering from middle aged male menopause? I suspected this for some time now but was afraid to admit it. Am I starting to get that old now? Now that you guys mention it I do start some of my sentences with "I remember when" more often than not, especially when giving advice to my kids.

I'm totally down with defensive driving and slowing down, but I totally lost it this morning. I'm actually a little disappointed with myself but at the same time I'm pissed that people are so selfish that my life is put into danger because of them.

Bison · March 19, 2012, 03:14:30 PM

Heh...no matter the language the skull and crossbones is always an effective deterent.

Bison · March 19, 2012, 03:17:50 PM

Quote from: W8taminute on March 19, 2012, 03:14:00 PM
I'm totally down with defensive driving and slowing down, but I totally lost it this morning. I'm actually a little disappointed with myself but at the same time I'm pissed that people are so selfish that my life is put into danger because of them.

As a fellow curmudgeon, I find that on some days it's easier just to be a preemptive ass and drive at least 10 to 15 mph slower then the speed limit. I find that monday morning usually achieves the best results.

TheCommandTent · March 19, 2012, 07:38:08 PM

People have just lost all common sense. They think only about themselves and everyone else better get out of their way.

This has happened to me before and I've pulled off the road or into a parking lot to let them get around and then I'll get back on the road. However, I totally understand you feelings and reaction.

Gusington · March 20, 2012, 09:43:29 AM

TheCommandTent sounds like the voice inside my head.

I hated the way I felt after bouts of road rage, especially if it made The Wife or the kids scared. So I try to get all zen as best I can. It works, most of the time.

The thing that still enrages me is when I am puttering down the street at say 35 mph, minding my own business and some ass pulls right out in front of me, then slows down! I swear when I get older I am going to buy some wreck of a car that I can use just to ram these idiots.

Given, that does not merge well with my zen defensive technique but...an asshole is an asshole. And there are way too many of them in cars.

Barthheart · March 20, 2012, 10:16:38 AM

Quote from: Gusington on March 20, 2012, 09:43:29 AM
....
I swear when I get older I am going to buy some wreck of a car that I can use just to ram these idiots
.....

Oh man, get out of my head! I said this very statement about a week ago to my wife.

I also just take my foot off the gas and slowly slow down for tailgaters. Makes them crazy but puts the problem back in their lap. Pass and die or back off. :)

Jarhead0331 · March 20, 2012, 10:29:36 AM

I used to have severe road rage...then I started carrying a gun. Now I drive casually and just smile when someone gets aggressive or hostile. Do they really want to pull me over? I guess that is for me to know, and for them to find out.