The most important thing to happen in the world in the last week...

Started by Bison, January 11, 2014, 11:28:10 AM

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LongBlade

#15
January 14, 2014, 04:28:55 PM
Quote from: Martok on January 14, 2014, 03:38:42 PM
Quote from: Bison on January 14, 2014, 12:01:02 AM
(Reuters) - Kraft Foods is warning it may run short of its Velveeta cheese product, right at a time of high seasonal U.S. demand for the orangey-yellow foodstuff.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/01/08/us-kraft-velveeta-idUSBREA0617020140108
I saw that.  As an admitted fan of Velveeta cheese (especially in conjunction with chips and watching the Super Bowl), this makes me sad.

Well gentlemen. There were a few golden bars of Velveeta at my local Target store today and I picked one up for my wife, who feels much like you do about it.

Personally I think it's overrated, but if that's what she wants for the Superbowl then it's a small price to pay.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

GDS_Starfury

#16
January 14, 2014, 04:34:16 PM
did you forget the Ro-tel?
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

DoctorQuest

#17
January 14, 2014, 04:42:10 PM
Quote from: LongBlade on January 14, 2014, 04:28:55 PM
Quote from: Martok on January 14, 2014, 03:38:42 PM
Quote from: Bison on January 14, 2014, 12:01:02 AM
(Reuters) - Kraft Foods is warning it may run short of its Velveeta cheese product, right at a time of high seasonal U.S. demand for the orangey-yellow foodstuff.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/01/08/us-kraft-velveeta-idUSBREA0617020140108
I saw that.  As an admitted fan of Velveeta cheese (especially in conjunction with chips and watching the Super Bowl), this makes me sad.

Well gentlemen. There were a few golden bars of Velveeta at my local Target store today and I picked one up for my wife, who feels much like you do about it.

Personally I think it's overrated, but if that's what she wants for the Superbowl then it's a small price to pay.

In that context it is no worse than what most people will eat and drink that day.
"Everything you read on the internet is true." - Benjamin Franklin

"Zero-G and I feel fine....." - John Glenn

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage, inventor of the alternative fact.

LongBlade

#18
January 14, 2014, 05:34:56 PM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 14, 2014, 04:34:16 PM
did you forget the Ro-tel?

There doesn't seem to be a shortage of that.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Bison

#19
January 15, 2014, 08:46:47 PM
A would-be burglar was stopped in his tracks when he failed to break into a Chicago, Illinois neighborhood bar because he was pulling on a door marked 'PUSH.'

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/burglar-stymied-when-he-pulls-door-marked-%E2%80%98push%E2%80%99-221610223.html

skeptical.platypus

#20
January 15, 2014, 09:13:15 PM
Quote from: Staggerwing on January 13, 2014, 08:04:47 PM
Adds texture and some protein.

That's what she said!
The Law of Unintended Consequences, Seattle Pride Variant: The only city on the planet that can guarantee your purchase of recreational marijuana is from a stoner making $15/hr.

skeptical.platypus

#21
January 15, 2014, 09:22:44 PM
If you are a convicted felon (and unregistered sex offender), don't go on television to show yourself handling and firing the long guns you say you'll use to steal other people's shiny AR-15's. Lotsa police have shiny AR-15s.

http://blogs.seattletimes.com/today/2014/01/man-on-doomsday-preppers-arrested-on-weapons-charges/
The Law of Unintended Consequences, Seattle Pride Variant: The only city on the planet that can guarantee your purchase of recreational marijuana is from a stoner making $15/hr.

Martok

#22
January 16, 2014, 02:36:16 AM
LOL.  I never get tired of stupid-criminal stories. 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Bison

#23
January 21, 2014, 07:29:39 PM
SAN FRANCISCO, Jan. 21 (UPI) -- Candy company Jelly Belly announced new draft beer and chocolate-covered Tabasco flavored candy beans at the Winter Fancy Food Show in San Francisco.
Time magazine reported the company, which manufactures its famous jelly beans in Fairfield, Calif., announced its new newest flavors during the Sunday through Tuesday Winter Fancy Food Show in San Francisco.


Read more: http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/01/21/Jelly-Belly-announces-draft-beer-chocolate-Tabasco-flavors/UPI-62971390338454/#ixzz2r5BYHYDM

Bison

#24
February 09, 2014, 10:08:23 AM
Police responding to reports of screaming coming from a home in Maine didn't find a victim of domestic violence as they feared. Instead, they found an amorous pig.

http://news.yahoo.com/maine-police-investigating-screams-happy-pig-111757559.html

Uh...what the hell is going on up there Mirth?

skeptical.platypus

#25
February 09, 2014, 01:24:16 PM
Quote from: Bison on February 09, 2014, 10:08:23 AM
Police responding to reports of screaming coming from a home in Maine didn't find a victim of domestic violence as they feared. Instead, they found an amorous pig.

http://news.yahoo.com/maine-police-investigating-screams-happy-pig-111757559.html

Uh...what the hell is going on up there Mirth?

"Amorous" is a bit of an assumption on the China, Maine State Troopers' part, innit? Who among us can't think of five women we'd rather be dropped into a pen with less than a back to back cop rock/red dawn ii marathon?  I mean, put me down in front of five women on The View, and I'm screaming, too. And not amorously.


Also -- China, Maine? Thank goodness we've got all american names here. Like Humptulips.
The Law of Unintended Consequences, Seattle Pride Variant: The only city on the planet that can guarantee your purchase of recreational marijuana is from a stoner making $15/hr.
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