Engineering Around Stupidity

Started by bayonetbrant, July 16, 2014, 10:40:53 AM

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LongBlade

#15
July 17, 2014, 05:10:54 PM
Quote from: Centurion40 on July 16, 2014, 02:56:04 PM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 16, 2014, 10:40:53 AM
Yes, this email really went out to our entire company

QuoteGreetings,

It's come to my attention that we are shutting down and defrosting the ice maker at least once or twice a week.  The reason for this is due to individuals dropping ice behind the tray when they pull it out to retrieve ice.  When this happens, the dropped ice prevents the tray from being placed back in the ice maker properly.  This prohibits the door from closing properly and causes an ice buildup on the interior walls.   Once the buildup occurs the unit needs to be defrosted.  Having to constantly shut down the ice maker impacts ice production and defeats the  purpose of having an ice maker.

To alleviate this problem, going forward Facilities will replenish the ice containers daily in both freezers.  Effective immediately,  ice should only be retrieved from the refrigerators.  Do not open the door to the ice maker.   If there is no ice in the refrigerator, please call x5--- or x5--- for assistance.

Translation
"You people are too stupid to get ice out of a machine for yourselves.  Rather than demand that you behave like adults of your species and not fuck up, we're going to treat you like infants and operate the ice machine for you."

Bah!  You all are a pack of posh motherf'kers for having an ice-machine in the first place!!

Hey, not all of us can just walk out the door and scrape it off our cars.

Year round.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

panzerde

#16
July 17, 2014, 07:15:45 PM
I'm looking at office space for my company this week. If we put a fridge in, I'm going to use this as a key employee metric. Anyone too stupid to use an ice cube tray I fire immediately.  :knuppel2:
"This damned Bonaparte is going to get us all killed" - Jean Lannes, 1809

Castellan -  La Fraternite des Boutons Carres

LongBlade

#17
July 17, 2014, 11:24:32 PM
Quote from: panzerde on July 17, 2014, 07:15:45 PM
I'm looking at office space for my company this week. If we put a fridge in, I'm going to use this as a key employee metric. Anyone too stupid to use an ice cube tray I fire immediately.  :knuppel2:

Good idea.

Probably should add beer. Anyone reaching for ice instead of beer is immediately suspect.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

GDS_Starfury

#18
July 17, 2014, 11:33:51 PM
under those rules I would be CEO in a week.
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

bayonetbrant

#19
July 18, 2014, 05:28:06 AM
Quote from: panzerde on July 17, 2014, 07:15:45 PMI'm looking at office space for my company this week. If we put a fridge in, I'm going to use this as a key employee metric. Anyone too stupid to use an ice cube tray I fire immediately.  :knuppel2: 

:2funny:
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

BanzaiCat

#20
July 18, 2014, 07:09:08 AM
Maybe we can use those rules around here in my office. We just moved into a new space. Monday morning first thing I go into the break room to get coffee - I always get in around 0600 so I'm the first one in there - and the sink is filled with filthy dishes, as is the dish holder next to it. Crusty, nasty, dirty frigging dishes that people left not just out, but out all damn weekend. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?

Centurion40

#21
July 18, 2014, 07:47:18 AM
Quote from: panzerde on July 17, 2014, 07:15:45 PM
I'm looking at office space for my company this week. If we put a fridge in, I'm going to use this as a key employee metric. Anyone too stupid to use an ice cube tray I fire immediately.  :knuppel2:

Bingo.
Any time is a good time for pie.

Centurion40

#22
July 18, 2014, 07:49:47 AM
Quote from: LongBlade on July 17, 2014, 05:10:54 PM
Quote from: Centurion40 on July 16, 2014, 02:56:04 PM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 16, 2014, 10:40:53 AM
Yes, this email really went out to our entire company

QuoteGreetings,

It's come to my attention that we are shutting down and defrosting the ice maker at least once or twice a week.  The reason for this is due to individuals dropping ice behind the tray when they pull it out to retrieve ice.  When this happens, the dropped ice prevents the tray from being placed back in the ice maker properly.  This prohibits the door from closing properly and causes an ice buildup on the interior walls.   Once the buildup occurs the unit needs to be defrosted.  Having to constantly shut down the ice maker impacts ice production and defeats the  purpose of having an ice maker.

To alleviate this problem, going forward Facilities will replenish the ice containers daily in both freezers.  Effective immediately,  ice should only be retrieved from the refrigerators.  Do not open the door to the ice maker.   If there is no ice in the refrigerator, please call x5--- or x5--- for assistance.

Translation
"You people are too stupid to get ice out of a machine for yourselves.  Rather than demand that you behave like adults of your species and not fuck up, we're going to treat you like infants and operate the ice machine for you."

Bah!  You all are a pack of posh motherf'kers for having an ice-machine in the first place!!

Hey, not all of us can just walk out the door and scrape it off our cars.

Year round.

Yer in Chicagoland now, no need to be jealous!!  ;)
Any time is a good time for pie.
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