Rimworld - the story of Crashtown and the misadventures of Bob, Huw and Gus

[undercovergeek]

In an alternate galaxy far, far away Bob reaches over and asks 'oooo, what does that button do' - cue spirraling death descent of doom leaving just our 3 heroes as survivors. Let me introduce the gang -

Huw 'Cookie' The Poo, jack of all trades. Having spent his childhood as a medieval slave (see Lord Gus) he left to become an accomplished chef. He cooks, he grows, he builds, he mines - hes the backbone of the group. Problem is hes got an old back injury and moves like a slug through treacle, so he wont be the first to any emergency - he's ideally suited to the kitchen - ill build all he needs around him and he'll be fine. He has a phobia of any bionic prosthetics, rather ironically he doesnt give a damn about the spiritual and psychic world, and is a hard worker, but he wont clean or haul which might be a problem



Bob 'The Doc' Ellis, all kinds of contradictions here. Failed medical student having left to join a rock band, hence the hair, he became a medic in the army. Now hes a man of peace and will not raise a gun or his fists in anger, this should be a hoot. He's our green thumbed surgeon, and will crack on with the research when the times right - a teetotaller (guffaw), and walks like a crazy person so he should make up for Huws meditarranean approach to jobs



Lord Gusington Gus, medieval lord and previous owner of Huw (maybe the cause of the bad back, but i dont want to get too deep, which sadly is something Lord Gus didnt say) - as can be expected of the aristocracy he does fk all but shoot, fight and lounge around all day. Crackshot and fisting champion he'll be the hunter and bringer of meat, then hell sleep it off until the next day - no manual labour here either so Bobs doing all the heavy lifting

[bob48]

 O0

[Barthheart]

 

Man yer making it hard not to buy this game......

[MetalDog]

Ummmmm, couple things.  First, did you really mean, "fisting"?  Second, you know Gus is a chick, right?

[Staggerwing]

Artistic license.

[undercovergeek]

Mr wing said it best

I could have worded bobs pugilistic talents better though!

[MetalDog]

Very good.  Carry on.

[JasonPratt]

Artistic license.

She identifies as male.  >:D

[undercovergeek]

The chaps start the base - a communal room for a roof over their heads, and Huw starts digging out some more permanent accommodation



Our old friend stagger joins



He loves to garden, we plant a strawberry field and a potato field to supplement the meat diet whilst the base takes shape



Whilst successfully fending off our first raid Bob accidentally sets fire to the strawberries and the wall, we take his Molotov cocktails off him



Another raid comes in and we capture 2 of the cheeky blighters, 3 others are killed leaving some juicy weapons behind



and then it goes to s***, a massive raid attacks at the same time as an innocent band of wanderers walks by, everyone starts shooting at each other, huw gets brain damaged and Staggerwing loses a leg



.....the band of raiders steals one legged Staggerwing



A picture of a thousand words, a new recruit, Jomni electrocutes himself on the solar panels whilst were still mopping up from the previous carnage. A huge pack of manhunting Wargs attacks the base with the machine guns still down - Bob goes out to do his best and rescue recent recruit Freyland, they both get eaten, poor dribbling Huw sets himself on fire - its over

Game = 2 Geek = 0

[bob48]

Well, that was fun.

How the fu...heck do you burn strawberries?

[Staggerwing]

I would buy this game in a heartbeat if the devs add an event reporter that mimics Geek's style. :))

[undercovergeek]

lmao, cheers both - Staggerwing, i tried to save you soooooo much - everyone abandoned their fight and headed to you, there was a slow motion 'nooooooooooooooooo' from me as i realised i couldnt reach you, and then youd gone, reminiscent of the scene in LotR when they all realise Gandalf has gone

'Run you fools'

[Freyland]

"Hi, I'm Freyland! It's nice to... aaaggh"

Story of my life.

[bob48]

^At least you lasted long enough to say 'aaarggh'

[Freyland]

There is that, I suppose.