Just Can't Fix Stupid

Started by bayonetbrant, March 30, 2012, 10:03:38 AM

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besilarius

#150
August 19, 2016, 06:47:44 AM Last Edit: August 19, 2016, 06:50:56 AM by besilarius
Sure.  Looks like it would help any pussy stay happy.
For some reason, this reminds me of an old Avengers episode.  Steed joins a cat fancier club.  The application form has a line for his pussy's name. 
He puts Emma.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

JasonPratt

#151
August 25, 2016, 01:13:56 PM
Well, she did have a catsuit, so...
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

bayonetbrant

#152
August 27, 2016, 05:06:53 PM
as posted by a friend on FB

QuoteJust received a very helpful call from "Ethan Alexander," a vigilant do-gooder from the Microsoft Corporation, letting me know that my computer has gone bad. He offered to walk me through the fix-it process. While I had him on the phone, I had to repeatedly excuse myself to yell at "Charlie" to put the knife down and clean up that bloody mess he made from stabbing the cat. I also had to tell Charlie that he could NOT stab the other cat and to take the first cat's body outside. Charlie's a real pain-in-the-rump when helpful Scottish people from India call to provide me with assistance that I didn't even know I needed. I told Ethan Alexander that I couldn't get to my computer because it was covered in cat blood and needed to be cleaned up and then restarted, but I asked if I could call him back. He helpfully left me with the following call-back number: (518)300-1183. Give Ethan a call if you need help with your Microsoft or cleaning cat blood off of your computer. Meow.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Windigo

#153
August 31, 2016, 11:16:04 AM
Just because .... you know.... the topic title

but has anyone here actually try to fix stupid?

Just curious... and you know... for science.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

mirth

#154
August 31, 2016, 11:21:56 AM
I've dated stupid. And crazy.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

panzerde

#155
August 31, 2016, 11:29:09 AM
I run an IT support company. We try and fix stupid every day. Nothing we've tried so far works. Unfortunately, they won't allow me to try applying electricity to the customers rather than the computers, so there's a limit to how far our research can go.

"This damned Bonaparte is going to get us all killed" - Jean Lannes, 1809

Castellan -  La Fraternite des Boutons Carres

Windigo

#156
August 31, 2016, 11:41:41 PM
Quote from: mirth on August 31, 2016, 11:21:56 AM
I've dated stupid. And crazy.

I don't think making crazy walk bowlegged for a few hours constitutes a fix
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

bayonetbrant

#157
September 01, 2016, 04:31:45 AM
Quote from: Windigo on August 31, 2016, 11:16:04 AMbut has anyone here actually try to fix stupid?

I teach.

I try to fix it a little every day.

Some of them realize it and don't want to be stupid.

Some of them are happy being stupid.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bayonetbrant

#158
November 25, 2016, 04:38:46 PM
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Sir Slash

#159
November 25, 2016, 11:32:50 PM
And even that didn't help their ratings.  #:-)
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

BanzaiCat

#160
December 02, 2016, 11:00:52 AM
My team tries to fix stupid every day, too. Though I would call it more ignorance than stupid; ignorance at least indicates a willingness to learn and open-mindedness to accept new ideas, generally anyway.

It's difficult to be stupid when you work on a 1.3MW natural gas generator or some other electrical behemoth beastie that can fry you so bad your entire family will feel it for decades, so we try to bring light to them and pray they don't do something stupid.

mirth

#161
December 02, 2016, 11:13:52 AM
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

Atilla60

#162
December 04, 2016, 11:35:00 AM
Ouch!  :hide:
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.
- Sir Winston Churchill -

JasonPratt

#163
December 05, 2016, 02:34:35 PM
Just to be clear, the CNN did not accidentally broadcast porn. That was a hoax or an urban legend.

The CNN did report, based on the hoax/legend it found on the internet, that it had accidentally broadcast a porn channel for an hour or so that day.

The fact CNN reported fake news clickbait against itself, I find far more hilarious than if they had actually broadcast porn for an hour.  :2funny:
ICEBREAKER THESIS CHRONOLOGY! -- Victor Suvorov's Stalin Grand Strategy theory, in lots and lots of chronological order...
Dawn of Armageddon -- narrative AAR for Dawn of War: Soulstorm: Ultimate Apocalypse
Survive Harder! -- Two season narrative AAR, an Amazon Blood Bowl career.
PanzOrc Corpz Generals -- Fantasy Wars narrative AAR, half a combined campaign.
Khazâd du-bekâr! -- narrative dwarf AAR for LotR BfME2 RotWK campaign.
RobO Q Campaign Generator -- archived classic CMBB/CMAK tool!

Dammit Carl!

#164
December 05, 2016, 02:39:42 PM
[rushes in out of breath]

Someone call for stupid?
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