Lewis Grizzard quotes...

Started by bayonetbrant, October 27, 2016, 08:34:03 AM

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bayonetbrant

October 27, 2016, 08:34:03 AM
Airboy, MetalDog, Slash, and maybe Longblade are about the only ones of y'all I would expect to know who Gizzard is.  But he had some great quotes :)

QuoteI know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.


QuoteIn the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothes on and you're up to somethin'.


QuoteBaptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.


QuoteInstead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.


QuoteThere is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.


QuoteThere's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.


http://www.azquotes.com/author/5948-Lewis_Grizzard
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bbmike

#1
October 27, 2016, 08:40:12 AM
I also know who he is. I lived in Newnan, GA for a few years and drove on the Lewis Grizzard Highway many, many times.
"My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplace of existence."
-Sherlock Holmes

"You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets."
-Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart

"There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you!"
-The Doctor

"Before Man goes to the stars he should learn how to live on Earth."
-Clifford D. Simak

Greybriar

#2
October 27, 2016, 09:04:27 AM
Thanks for the link. The quotes it led to helped brighten my day. O0
Regardless of how good a PC game may be it will always have its detractors and no matter how bad a PC game may be it will always have its fans.

Sir Slash

#3
October 27, 2016, 09:11:57 AM
Yeah, I always read his columns in the paper whenever I got the chance. He was kind-of Jeff Foxworthy before there was a Jeff Foxworthy. I miss him.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

bayonetbrant

#4
October 27, 2016, 09:16:40 AM
Quote from: bbmike on October 27, 2016, 08:40:12 AM
I also know who he is. I lived in Newnan, GA for a few years and drove on the Lewis Grizzard Highway many, many times.

I wasn't sure how far south past DC you'd ventured.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bbmike

#5
October 27, 2016, 10:02:02 AM
DC is more of a case of how far north I ventured out of Florida/Georgia. Can't wait to get out of here.  :buck2:
"My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplace of existence."
-Sherlock Holmes

"You know, just once I'd like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets."
-Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart

"There's a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everyone keeps invading you!"
-The Doctor

"Before Man goes to the stars he should learn how to live on Earth."
-Clifford D. Simak

Dammit Carl!

#6
October 27, 2016, 10:35:30 AM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on October 27, 2016, 08:34:03 AM
Airboy, MetalDog, Slash, and maybe Longblade are about the only ones of y'all I would expect to know who Gizzard is.  But he had some great quotes :)

Count me in too; still have a few of his books floating around my Aunt's house I bet.

Miss the old coot - pity he and Garrison Keillor couldn't double team this year's election cycle as I bet it would have been a good read.

Steelgrave

#7
October 27, 2016, 10:48:10 AM
I've quoted his "difference between naked and nekkid" line for years now. Classic  O0

MetalDog

#8
October 28, 2016, 06:48:50 PM
My grandparents took the paper and I would read him there.  Sold a few of his books, too.
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob
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