Star Wars: The Last Jedi

[JasonPratt]

Come to think of it, since Po and this other character should have both been very, very dead early in the film for similar reasons, and neither one are for no clear reason at all, I'm going to theorize that this film is the Star Wars version of Jacob's Ladder. Or the Occurrence on Owl Creek Bridge.

This might be my head canon now. 

[JasonPratt]

Was Lara Dern the first person in the SW films to refer to God? "God be with you." She said that. I know she did, I didn't just imagine that as my brain was dying, because Bro and I both turned and looked at each other and repeated that. Because we couldn't believe it was in the film.

We're both very serious Christians, it isn't like we're offended it's there -- if anything we get very eye-rolling about the pantheistic Force and think the midichlorians are kind of hilarious but still plot-wrong for the series -- but it doesn't really fit the series. The Ying-Yang symbol does (although wait, does that mean one of those characters was sensitive to the dark side?) The blunt reference to God, in a dramatic scene, does not.

[JasonPratt]

Rey supposedly isn't a Mary Sue, but everyone likes her, she's better than the original characters whose fan fiction she's the new heroine of, she is now more incapable than ever of making a mistake (minus an apparent big one in her judgment of "this is going to go" the way she thinks, but I'm betting she still turns out to be right about that bright, clear future), she gets new powers as the plot demands without working for it -- not just unlike the main villain(s), by the way, but LITERALLY IN STORY BECAUSE one of the main villains needs balanced capabilities. Which the other main villain apparently doesn't understand because he berates the villain she's balancing out due to plot necessities, for being balanced out by her.

Meanwhile Luke cuts himself off from the Force, leaving a giant unbalanced power running around. Until he gets balanced Sith style, which I kind of appreciated thematically, but I didn't think these clowns were even supposed to be the Sith.

This plot, "a page turner it is not". (...I didn't imagine that either, did I?) Oh, and Rey already knows more of everything than the foundational books of the Jedi, because the forced-plot literally needs her to be special. (...I didn't imagine that either, did I? That was practically said, in the same scene, almost word for word.)

But she isn't, supposedly, a Mary Sue.

[JasonPratt]

Rey dives straight into the Dark Side without even resisting -- this is said in the film, explicitly -- but she makes it out okay, twice, without any problems. One of those times the Dark Side offers to show her her parents, and instead of showing her something that Ren is sure will turn her to the dark side (which she's tempted about when it happens), it shows her only herself and then lets her go, no harm, no suggestive revelation about herself that teaches her about a weakness (what is explicitly said to be her weakness, by Team Evil, later).

But she isn't a Mary Sue. Supposedly.

[JasonPratt]

In order to create, not only character tension = plot tension, but to set up the giant circle chase subplot which leads nowhere and accomplishes less than nothing, Lara Dern pissy-flirts with Po by refusing to tell one of her officers what she's trying to do and why. While barely restraining herself from chewing his nose like a starving purple-haired cougar. Which I suspect is a thing in the SWU.

End result: mutiny, hundreds or thousands of lives lost, Lara Dern gains time to figure out how to really win at the last moment, using a simple maneuver that anyone could have thought up in the few days of the plot, and for which literally no one except the villains had to die.

This is almost redeemed by Lara Dern's awesomeness. But I'm trying to be honest. (While being non-spoilery.)


Edited to add: it occurs to me that the in-story plot didn't happen over a few days but across less than a day. It just felt like a few days.

[JasonPratt]

Someone fangirls over a hero who doesn't think he's a hero and is then crushed when she thinks he's doing something unheroic, which he really isn't, and then prevents him from being the hero she thought he was to begin with, because she decides she loves him. End result, potential game loss for the rebellion, hundreds more dead. Fangirl should be dropped off at the nearest rebel base pronto, probably won't be.

[spoiler]This is not Lara Dern.[/spoiler]

Very, very fortunately for the rebellion, the rebellion gets past this, and could even set up this situation that the fangirl ignorantly torpedoes for the sake of her feelings at the moment, because evil is so, so, so dumb.

[JasonPratt]

Between Finn's last scene, and Finn's next-to-last scene, nothing apparently happens. And yet he's safe and sound in the last scene. When he should be a dead red smear scraped along the surface of a salt plain, along with someone else.

Because evil so so dumb y'all.

[Sir Slash]

It would've been epic to see Luke, Han, and Chewy all team-up on screen again.

[GDS_Starfury]

ok Jason, sum up your wall of text into 10 words.

[JasonPratt]

Everyone kind of deserves to die from malignant dumbpravity.

Nine words.  O0

[JasonPratt]

This movie was actively trolling its own fans.

Eight words.

[mirth]

Less rum in your eggnog.

Five words ;)

[Batman]

one word

shhhh

[mirth]

"Hush" would have been better, Batman.

[JasonPratt]

^ Srsly, no ear for canon.

Although granted, Hush was a dumb villain so I forgive his avoidance.


They burned Zahn's books.

Four words.  >:D


Screw the fans.

Three words.


Mary Sue.

Two words.


WTF.

One acronym.  >:(