Consolidated Thread of All Things Joke-like :)

Started by bayonetbrant, January 31, 2012, 01:01:37 PM

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Staggerwing

#195
January 08, 2014, 07:07:50 PM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on January 08, 2014, 09:53:01 AM
all except for the math on 12% interest.  ;)

He must have gotten back a few hours early.
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys

bayonetbrant

#196
January 23, 2014, 09:08:05 PM
Irish Text Message....
Paddy texts his wife...

"Mary,
I'm just having one more pint with the lads."
"If I'm not back in 20 minutes,...
... read this message again."
Paddy
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Staggerwing

#197
January 23, 2014, 09:52:14 PM
Guinness causality loop...
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys

GDS_Starfury

#198
January 23, 2014, 10:02:28 PM
explains why the Doctor is British.
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

BanzaiCat

#199
January 23, 2014, 10:04:09 PM
I changed my iPad's name to 'Titanic.'

It's syncing now.

BanzaiCat

#200
January 23, 2014, 10:05:34 PM
How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

Staggerwing

#201
January 23, 2014, 10:05:47 PM
Haha... err, I mean 'Groan'...
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys

BanzaiCat

#202
January 23, 2014, 10:08:36 PM
I dropped out of Communism class because of lousy Marx.

BanzaiCat

#203
January 23, 2014, 10:16:56 PM
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet and he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

GDS_Starfury

#204
January 23, 2014, 10:37:00 PM
someone take his keyboard away.
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

Martok

#205
January 24, 2014, 07:04:00 AM
Seconded.  It's as if Bawb is whispering into his ear! 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

bayonetbrant

#206
January 24, 2014, 07:26:05 AM Last Edit: January 08, 2015, 03:02:41 PM by bayonetbrant
It's not that Bob's whispering.  It's that he's earing it so clearly.

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bayonetbrant

#207
January 24, 2014, 07:26:18 AM
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on January 23, 2014, 10:05:34 PM
How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bob48

#208
January 24, 2014, 10:03:41 AM
Quote from: Banzai_Cat on January 23, 2014, 10:16:56 PM
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet and he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I like it!
'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!

bayonetbrant

#209
January 24, 2014, 10:23:11 AM
QuoteThe letters of the alphabet had to queue to be named. The Zs were last because they overslept.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers
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