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My ball aches!

Started by Huw the Poo, July 16, 2013, 03:00:18 PM

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airboy

#90
July 18, 2013, 09:59:58 PM
Having gone through this, I have a philosophical question.

I'm sure that you, or your male buddies have said at some point in time:
"I would give my left nut for ............ (insert what you want)"

Now, why is ALWAYS give the left nut?  It is never the right nut, or both nuts, but the LEFT NUT?

Huw - Have you been making fond wishes about a sports car, a blonde, for more "prowess" and promised your left nut?
Was your prayer "answered" or is "getting answered slowly?"

Be careful, very careful, about what you ask for!

GDS_Starfury

#91
July 18, 2013, 10:05:39 PM
because the left nut voted for obama.
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

besilarius

#92
July 18, 2013, 10:48:57 PM
Okay, Airboy, here is one explanation, and you can believe it or not.
Back in the 20s and 30s, the cadets at West Point and the Midshipmen at Annapolis were equipped by military tailors.
The tailors were trained to cut the cloth of trousers to favor the right side.  (If you ever go to a real tailor, you will be asked "Do you dress on the right or the left?"  One ball always hangs lower than the other.)
So those people who had lower hanging left balls were more likely to be uncomfortable, have their knickers in a twist, cut the blood to the nut...
So, when they said I'd give my left nut, it was because the trousers were cut to be tighter on that side of the the crotch.  If you had to give up one of the pair, then give up the one that was causing you more discomfort.
This is one of the reasons that civilian tailors always had a thriving business next to the gates of military establishments.  One size does not fit all.
"Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out until too late that he's been playing with two queens all along".  Terry Pratchett.

During filming of Airplane, Leslie Nielsen used a whoopee cushion to keep the cast off-balance. Hays said that Nielsen "played that thing like a maestro"

Tallulah Bankhead: "I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me."

"When all other trusts fail, turn to Flashman." — Abraham Lincoln.

"I have enjoyed very warm relations with my two husbands."
"With your eyes closed?"
"That helped."  Lauren Bacall

Master Chiefs are sneaky, dastardly, and snarky miscreants who thrive on the tears of Ensigns and belly dancers.   Admiral Gerry Bogan.

Windigo

#93
July 18, 2013, 11:52:45 PM
Quote from: Gusington on July 18, 2013, 07:05:55 PM
Breezy I have two turntables and a microphone.

Star wins for tactical testicular clip usage. Bravo!

For work????????????????
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

Arctic Blast

#94
July 19, 2013, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:17:59 PM
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time

:o

Are you messing with me right now? Seriously? I lived in Grande Cache until I was 12. My dad worked at Smoky River Coal (though he's no Welshman).

Seriously, this is kind of freaking me out.

Martok

#95
July 19, 2013, 02:17:42 AM
Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 18, 2013, 12:59:23 PM
Aww shucks Martok! :)
I speak from the heart.  ;D 




Quote from: Huw the Poo on July 18, 2013, 12:59:23 PM
Quote from: undercovergeek on July 18, 2013, 12:49:13 PM
hows the nutsack today?

Disappointingly it's actually slightly worse today, but nowhere near as bad as it has been.  I still think the antibiotics will kick arse. :)
By the way, what's the sitrep today?  Any better yet? 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

Gusington

#96
July 19, 2013, 08:49:12 AM
Bes that story trumps all of your previous ones. Bravo!
✡

слава Україна!

We can't live under the threat of a c*nt because he's threatening nuclear Armageddon.

-JudgeDredd

bayonetbrant

#97
July 19, 2013, 08:53:02 AM
one of these days, we need the "Collected Essential Tales of Besilarius Groghead"
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

LongBlade

#98
July 19, 2013, 09:20:34 AM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on July 19, 2013, 08:53:02 AM
one of these days, we need the "Collected Essential Tales of Besilarius Groghead"

Indeed. He knows how to spin them.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Windigo

#99
July 19, 2013, 11:25:31 AM
Quote from: Arctic Blast on July 19, 2013, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:17:59 PM
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time

:o

Are you messing with me right now? Seriously? I lived in Grande Cache until I was 12. My dad worked at Smoky River Coal (though he's no Welshman).

Seriously, this is kind of freaking me out.

I have no idea why you'd be freaked out by this, but I am serious, I had work to do there several times.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

LongBlade

#100
July 19, 2013, 11:28:45 AM
Quote from: Windigo on July 19, 2013, 11:25:31 AM
Quote from: Arctic Blast on July 19, 2013, 12:14:35 AM
Quote from: Windigo on July 18, 2013, 01:17:59 PM
The only welshmen I evermet were miners at Smoky River Coal in Grande Cache Alberta.... can't say I ever .... ever saw even a hint of any kind of sense of humour while at the mine site.... until it was pub time

:o

Are you messing with me right now? Seriously? I lived in Grande Cache until I was 12. My dad worked at Smoky River Coal (though he's no Welshman).

Seriously, this is kind of freaking me out.

I have no idea why you'd be freaked out by this, but I am serious, I had work to do there several times.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Windigo

#101
July 19, 2013, 11:29:49 AM
@ LB,

heh, back then I was *cough* happily married to Ex#1 - living in Grande Prairie
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.

My wife insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know.

Huw the Poo

#102
July 19, 2013, 01:01:02 PM
Quote from: Martok on July 19, 2013, 02:17:42 AM
By the way, what's the sitrep today?  Any better yet? 

I made the mistake of going back to boxer shorts today, so I was...ahem...reminded with every step I took.  Besides that though, not bad at all.  Thanks for asking, mate!

undercovergeek

#103
July 19, 2013, 01:36:03 PM
you need a 'cupper'?






im not volunteering

Huw the Poo

#104
July 19, 2013, 01:54:51 PM
Some friend you are. :(
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