Consolidated Thread of All Things Joke-like :)

Started by bayonetbrant, January 31, 2012, 01:01:37 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Print
Go Down Pages 1 ... 10 11 12 13 14 ... 29
User actions

Martok

#165
October 18, 2013, 01:26:22 PM
Heh.  Yeah, some of those are pretty good.  I liked these two in particular: 




"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

bayonetbrant

#166
October 18, 2013, 01:38:11 PM
just seen elsewhere on Twitter

"Aerosmith could reach new fans if they changed their name to Tyler/Perry's Aerosmith."
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

LongBlade

#167
October 19, 2013, 05:57:26 PM
Q: What's the difference between a cat and a comma?













A: A cat has its claws at the end of its paws and a comma has its pause at the end of its clause.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

Martok

#168
October 20, 2013, 02:27:55 AM
I've seen that one before.  It's still a groaner, but kudos for being a grammar joke.  :P 

"Like we need an excuse to drink to anything..." - Banzai_Cat
"I like to think of it not as an excuse but more like Pavlovian Response." - Sir Slash

"At our ages, they all look like jailbait." - mirth

"If we had lines here that would have crossed all of them. For the 1,077,986th time." - Gusington

"Government is so expensive that it should at least be entertaining." - airboy

"As long as there's bacon, everything will be all right." - Toonces

bayonetbrant

#169
December 06, 2013, 04:23:02 PM
ever notice that the same 5 letters that spell "Santa" spell "Satan", that they both wear red & black, have little pointy-eared helpers, and live some place you can't visit? And they've never been seen together. Coincidence?
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bayonetbrant

#170
December 11, 2013, 03:17:38 PM
Why did the Jedi police officer get fired?

For using excessive Force.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

BanzaiCat

#171
December 11, 2013, 03:31:50 PM
Facebookpalm there, Grogheads facepalm here.

bob48

#172
December 11, 2013, 03:37:33 PM
What's yellow and points to the north?

A magnetic banana.
'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!

GDS_Starfury

#173
December 11, 2013, 03:38:18 PM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on December 11, 2013, 03:17:38 PM
Why did the Jedi police officer get fired?

For using excessive Force.

please leave this to the professionals.
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

BanzaiCat

#174
December 11, 2013, 03:40:25 PM
Why did the hipster burn his lips on the coffee?







Because he drank it before it was cool.

bob48

#175
December 11, 2013, 03:41:48 PM
What's green and hangs from tree's?

Gorilla snot.
'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'

'Clip those corners'

Recombobulate the discombobulators!

BanzaiCat

#176
December 11, 2013, 03:56:39 PM
What's invisible and smells like carrots?



Bunny farts.

bayonetbrant

#177
December 11, 2013, 04:32:50 PM
What's the difference between a blonde and a computer ?
You only need to punch information into a computer once.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bayonetbrant

#178
December 11, 2013, 04:33:13 PM
Two goldfish are in a tank. One of them turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive one of these things?"
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

bayonetbrant

#179
December 11, 2013, 04:33:28 PM
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers
Print
Go Up Pages 1 ... 10 11 12 13 14 ... 29
User actions