Alien 5: WhatwhatWHAT?!?

[Arctic Blast]

I don't mind 3, either. It's not a great movie by any stretch, but it's okay. At least it kinda makes sense (which is more than I can say about 4).

[Silent Disapproval Robot]

Three is terrible.  Apart from the horrid sexy-time stuff in 4, it's a better movie than 3.  The underwater scene with the grenade launcher alone makes it a better movie than three.

[mirth]

3 & 4 both suck. It's a toss up as to which sucks less. I tend to give the nod to 4 just because it had Ron Perlman. On the other hand, Dan Hedaya as the general in charge of the research ship was epically bad casting. All I could think of was, "Who the hell put Nick Tortelli in charge?".

[mirth]

I like the idea of a new confrontation with minimal weapons. It's in no way as good as Alien or Aliens but as a variation on that Alien theme I enjoy it.

Dude, hate to break it to you but that was kind of a major plot point in Alien. No guns, improvised weapons. Heck even Aliens touched on it with the whole no heavy weapons fire while they're in the tunnels near the reactor. And the Drop Ship crashing and taking out the APC so that they're totally effed. And both did it better than 3.

[Huw the Poo]

Three is terrible.  Apart from the horrid sexy-time stuff in 4, it's a better movie than 3.  The underwater scene with the grenade launcher alone makes it a better movie than three.

Honestly, large parts of Resurrection are very watchable.  There are some memorable scenes with Ripley, some more with Call, the crew of the Betty are a good laugh (and Perlman shines as he always does).  The middle third of the film is genuinely entertaining when everyone's just trying to get the hell off the ship.  It's a shame that it gets progressively sillier, along with some other blemishes like Dan Hedaya's miscasting as brother Mirth points out.  I also thought that Brad Dourif seriously overdoes the mad scientist, although that was probably encouraged by Jeunet.

[mirth]

And why would they program the default behavior for the ship in an emergency to return to Earth. Something wrong on the secret research ship conducting Xenomorph cloning? Yeah let's send it straight back to Earth.

Guess that's what you get when you put Nick Tortelli in charge.

[mirth]

Sigourney Weaver actually made the basketball shot in Resurrection. So that automatically makes it better than A3.

[Staggerwing]

And why would they program the default behavior for the ship in an emergency to return to Earth. Something wrong on the secret research ship conducting Xenomorph cloning? Yeah let's send it straight back to Earth.

Guess that's what you get when you put Nick Tortelli in charge.

Shoulda put Carla in charge instead.

[mirth]

And why would they program the default behavior for the ship in an emergency to return to Earth. Something wrong on the secret research ship conducting Xenomorph cloning? Yeah let's send it straight back to Earth.

Guess that's what you get when you put Nick Tortelli in charge.

Shoulda put Carla in charge instead.

Exactly. She's meaner than the Aliens.

[Huw the Poo]

Sigourney Weaver actually made the basketball shot in Resurrection. So that automatically makes it better than A3.

Yeah, on the first take, too.  Perlman's reaction is genuine.

[mirth]

Yup. She's a badass

[Arctic Blast]

I will agree that the first half of Resurrection is okay (Hedaya's casting aside), but the second half...oof. Just oof. Why does the alien queen give birth now, and why does it birth a completely new kind of alien? If the alien queen now births live creatures, where in the Hell did the eggs come from that were set as a trap at the end of that swimming sequence? Hell, where did the stupid science people get the initial set of eggs they used to birth face huggers and create the initial batch of aliens? Why does the alien queen's anguish at giving birth mean the other aliens go grab Ripley and bring her there for...what...moral support? Why does said alien think Ripley is mom after it's born (in the running for dumbest thing in a movie EVER)? Hell, they never even really explain what this Ripley even IS. Why does the guy with the alien in him suddenly become indestructible and able to take 17 pistol rounds when said alien begins bursting from his chest? Also, why did anyone still think that Winona Ryder was anything but an obnoxious screen presence in 1997?! I kept HOPING for someone to shoot her, and then when it does happen, POOF she's an android! Haha! You're not rid of her that easily! And then there's Brad Dourif...with each passing scene, I wanted someone to crush his skull that much more. At least that actually happened, and he wasn't a goddamn android! And then there's the whole 'Winona Rydroid accessed the mainframe and learned all the secrets, so she knew where to get the Betty to go to destroy the project and'...WHY?! Why in the Hell would any of that even happen?! Is this what androids do in their spare time?

Let's construct the floor of the chamber where we're keeping the aliens out of a metal that's easily dissolved by their blood! Let's have the ship we're conducting this research on AUTO-RETURN TO EARTH if something goes wrong! With ideas this goddamn stupid, how did Weyland Yutani become powerful to begin with?!

[mirth]

With ideas this goddamn stupid, how did Weyland Yutani become powerful to begin with?!

Intergalactic porn.

[JasonPratt]

A4 does pretty well self-destruct in the final act, I have to agree. Even people who enjoy it (I do), I've never seen defend it after... well, after the underwater sequence more or less, or after the point Ripley gets sucked down into the Xenorgy.

But I do give it credit for trying something different with the A2 formula; and I give A3 credit for trying something different with the A1 formula.

And there's this: A1? Great for many reasons but not at all fun. A2? Great for many reasons (dependent on A1) and also lots of fun. A3? Variable quality and not at all fun. A4? Variable quality but often fun.

I've watched A3 several times, including the director's cut, and I'd have to look up references to remember what the major differences are; but it's the film I've watched least often. A4 is at least more fun. Given a choice between the two I'll always pick A4; I'll never watch A3 unless I'm "doing the series" or perhaps am curious to remind myself I have some kind of opinion about it or just because I haven't watched it in a while (and it doesn't completely suck -- but I also remember then why I don't watch it often.)

Given a choice between 1, 3, and 4, I'll probably watch 1, even though 4 is more fun, just because 1 is a better quality movie overall and more important to the overall story for obvious reasons.

But given a choice between any of the four, I'll choose 2 any time unless I have a specially particular reason to watch one of the others.


(And then I'll cheerfully continue ignoring Prometheus...  >:D )

[Gusington]

Screw all of you I'm watching Alien 3 right now with the volume turned way up so no one can escape it. Plus Roc is in it. Roc > Nick. Suckle it.