Just Can't Fix Stupid

Started by bayonetbrant, March 30, 2012, 10:03:38 AM

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bayonetbrant

#90
September 25, 2015, 03:23:41 PM


QuoteHis speed was so excessive that he drove through part of two yards before launching himself airborne. Once airborne he snapped a fairly large weeping cherry tree off three feet above the ground like it was a twig. Without hitting the ground he flew the rest of the way across that yard before making impact with the hood of one of the cars parked at the residence he ultimately ended up inside of. The force of that impact totaled the parked Mustang and pushed it six feet into another vehicle parked in their driveway propelling that car into a tree and crushing the front end. After making contact with the owner''s Mustang he did a sideways 180 degree turn in mid air and continued his flight impacting the side of the couple's home almost four feet off the ground with enough force to bust the rear end of his vehicle through the wall and ended up hanging out of the side of the house.
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Freyland

#91
September 26, 2015, 12:21:57 PM
I am almost certain it is supposed to be sheep that you count jumping over your bed at night.

Freyland

#92
September 26, 2015, 12:22:58 PM Last Edit: September 26, 2015, 12:26:39 PM by Freyland
Double post

MetalDog

#93
September 26, 2015, 04:15:34 PM
And I'll bet the s.o.b. lived, too!
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob

bayonetbrant

#94
September 26, 2015, 04:17:02 PM
he walked away
The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

MetalDog

#95
September 26, 2015, 04:17:25 PM
As I suspected.
And the One Song to Rule Them All is Gimme Shelter - Rolling Stones


"If its a Balrog, I don't think you get an option to not consent......." - bob

bayonetbrant

#96
September 27, 2015, 10:16:59 PM
Well alrighty then

The key to surviving this site is to not say something which ends up as someone's tag line - Steelgrave

"their citizens (all of them counted as such) glorified their mythology of 'rights'...and lost track of their duties. No nation, so constituted, can endure." Robert Heinlein, Starship Troopers

Mr. Bigglesworth

#97
September 28, 2015, 12:36:42 AM
I've heard racoons hold a grudge forever. If you mess with one, it will keep coming to trash your yard. So they say...
"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; "
- Shakespeare's Henry V, Act III, 1598

GDS_Starfury

#98
September 28, 2015, 12:57:16 AM
Mirths been dating racoons?   


kinky!
Jarhead - Yeah. You're probably right.

Gus - I use sweatpants with flannel shorts to soak up my crotch sweat.

Banzai Cat - There is no "partial credit" in grammar. Like anal sex. It's either in, or it's not.

Mirth - We learned long ago that they key isn't to outrun Star, it's to outrun Gus.

Martok - I don't know if it's possible to have an "anti-boner"...but I now have one.

Gus - Celery is vile and has no reason to exist. Like underwear on Star.

Staggerwing

#99
September 28, 2015, 05:43:26 AM
The Illuminati really do keep case files on everyone, don't they?
Vituð ér enn - eða hvat?  -Voluspa

Nothing really rocks and nothing really rolls and nothing's ever worth the cost...

"Don't you look at me that way..." -the Abyss
 
'When searching for a meaningful embrace, sometimes my self respect took second place' -Iggy Pop, Cry for Love

... this will go down on your permanent record... -the Violent Femmes, 'Kiss Off'-

"I'm not just anyone, I'm not just anyone-
I got my time machine, got my 'electronic dream!"
-Sonic Reducer, -Dead Boys

Sir Slash

#100
September 28, 2015, 06:38:17 PM
Should've let the raccoon drive, Dumbass.
"Take a look at that". Sgt. Wilkerson-- CMBN. His last words after spotting a German tank on the other side of a hedgerow.

LongBlade

#101
September 29, 2015, 11:41:51 AM
Quote from: bayonetbrant on September 27, 2015, 10:16:59 PM
Well alrighty then



Improvise.

Adapt.

Overcome.

Looks like a successful mission to me!
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

mirth

#102
September 29, 2015, 11:44:44 AM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on September 28, 2015, 12:57:16 AM
Mirths been dating racoons?   


kinky!

That was just you in your Lone Ranger mask.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus

LongBlade

#103
September 29, 2015, 11:48:53 AM
Quote from: mirth on September 29, 2015, 11:44:44 AM
Quote from: GDS_Starfury on September 28, 2015, 12:57:16 AM
Mirths been dating racoons?   


kinky!

That was just you in your Lone Ranger mask.

Girl Fight!

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

mirth

#104
September 29, 2015, 11:50:55 AM
Star can take a punch. I'll give him that.
"45 minutes of pooping Tribbles being juggled by a drunken Horta would be better than Season 1 of TNG." - SirAndrewD

"you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" - Bawb

"Can't 'un' until you 'pre', son." - Gus
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