HOI III (Their Finest Hour) AAR - Going it alone

[undercovergeek]

you errrr couldnt invade France for me could you?

[BanzaiCat]

[Keunert]

do you need a well balanced financing plan for your next adventure? do you need some high tech for your weapons? intel? do you want us to organize some secret agreement with not so loyal allies of your ennemies? let us know. but we won't do anything that threatens our neutrality

[Staggerwing]

LOL!

[undercovergeek]

do you need a well balanced financing plan for your next adventure? do you need some high tech for your weapons? intel? do you want us to organize some secret agreement with not so loyal allies of your ennemies? let us know. but we won't do anything that threatens our neutrality

Don't make me go off plan and invade switzerland just to spite you!

[Staggerwing]

He's mined all the mountain passes! It's a trap!

[undercovergeek]

There are such things as italian ninja paratroopers in this reality - I can't guarantee they'll open mind as I forgot to research the weapons to go with them

Expect a moustachioed warrior in your backyard any moment - but armed with a salami

[besilarius]

Is the salami in his rucksack?
Or in his pants?

[Staggerwing]

That's Amore!

[JasonPratt]

Bulgaria? Seems likely to be allied with too many people Not Worth Pissing Off Yet. Ditto the Swiss (though the Alpini might work better there than anyone else was able or willing to do in historical WW2.)

UPDATE: I just happened to notice UGeek ahemming about Bulgaria upthread along with Turkey, so I guess maybe them after all!

Bulgaria already drive Fiats, drink Chianti and eat Ragu im afraid

By "Bulgaria" I actually meant "Hungary" anyway. So... .... ........ so I wasn't wrong after all!  :D

West? The hell is over there not British? Portugal? Brazil? (Seems thematic.)

[JasonPratt]

He's mined all the mountain passes! It's a trap!

"It's a trap, colonel! There's two of them!"

[undercovergeek]

Bulgaria? Seems likely to be allied with too many people Not Worth Pissing Off Yet. Ditto the Swiss (though the Alpini might work better there than anyone else was able or willing to do in historical WW2.)

UPDATE: I just happened to notice UGeek ahemming about Bulgaria upthread along with Turkey, so I guess maybe them after all!

Bulgaria already drive Fiats, drink Chianti and eat Ragu im afraid

By "Bulgaria" I actually meant "Hungary" anyway. So... .... ........ so I wasn't wrong after all!  :D

West? The hell is over there not British? Portugal? Brazil? (Seems thematic.)

Recent civil war

[BanzaiCat]

Next targets for Il Duce...

(1) Spain. Yes, land of mountains, Moors, matanza (slaughter), maldito (damned), and maldad (wickedness). Spain is basically bullfights and Commies. I think a little Italian order is in the cards; it was part of the Roman Empire, after all.

Then again, so was...

(2) France. I have little doubt Il Undercovergeekduce is going to partake in the carving up of France once Germany gets around to dismantling the surrender-monkeys. I would think these Italian troops could make it all the way to the Atlantic coast, unlike their real-world counterparts. The only question is if the computer is going to give 'geek the choice of honoring the establishment of Vichy France or not. I'm thinking this is hard-wired into the HOI III programming and Vichy will happen no matter what - it's been a while though and I haven't played this series since II, so I don't know for sure. Anyone know?

(3) Once that little slice of French bread is broken off and stuffed into the gaping maw of Italian empire-building, Egypt should fall next, I think. Without the need for Rommel or the Afrika Korps. I think Il Undercovergeekduce's tanks will make it to Riyadh before Hitler even looks at a North Africa map.

(4) Central Africa is pretty much a black hole of supply, but it couldn't hurt I guess.

(5) New York is in need of some modern Roman architecture revamping. There's a lot of Italian immigrants there that need to be reminded what real Italian food is, so a nautical butt-smacking of America would be interesting to read about. Of course, unless you want to pull an Italian Pearl Harbor on the Hudson, you might wait for the Americans to enter the war. Who knows what the situation will be at that time, though.

(6) Why not Madagascar? Or maybe the Seychelles? Hard-working Italians across the Empire will need a nice island paradise to get away to, in order to forget the hardships of living like kings in this new Roman Empire.

Speaking of vacation spots,

(7) Switzerland. YES. Skiing is going to be in short supply now that the Nazis have taken over the best slopes in Austria. Plus, you can turn Switzerland into a nice giant Italian mountaineering school. Just relocate the population to, oh, I don't know, Cyprus or something. Those chocolates will be nice things for Italians to chew on while they look at their train station's new cuckoo clocks that keep immaculate time right along with the immaculate Italian trains that run on time throughout the Empire. (I guess you'll have to keep a few Swiss around to, you know, make things.)

Yeah, I got nothing. I have no idea.

[JasonPratt]

The Swiss historically send elite troops to guard the Vatican, so Il Douche probably knows already not to mess with the Swiss when they're defending something.

Based on UGeek's reply, Spain seems the correct answer for one of the nations (and then Portugal would make sense to clean up afterward). I hadn't thought about him ATTACKING HIS OWN ALLY, but that admittedly seems safer than attacking the ally of France and/or Britain and/or Germany and/or Russia.

[BanzaiCat]

The Swiss historically send elite troops to guard the Vatican, so Il Douche probably knows already not to mess with the Swiss when they're defending something.

Like defending their right to out-stripe ANY possible intruder. Or maybe stick them with a glaive, a weapon avoided like the plague even in D&D.